I’m moving out today!
It’s official I’m moving out!
The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay.
Remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of these three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear.
Minutes to sunrise we sat on the Airtrain to JFK. Half an hour earlier she was sitting on the edge of our air mattress, getting ready to kiss me goodbye as I was waking up. She was planning heading to the airport alone. Half-awake and panicky I got out of bed and got dressed, moving quickly to make sure she didn’t wouldn’t miss her flight because of me. Rushing to the subway I asked why she hadn’t woken me once she got up. She said, “I wasn’t expecting you to come.” I said, “What kind of girlfriend do you think I am?” I was trying my hardest to not miss her as we sat close together. The sun was rising as the train was pulling closer to her terminal. Her luggage sat straddled between her legs. My right hand loosely held on to her left. For the most part, the large suitcase was empty. She was planning on filling it with her belongings from home to bring on her return flight, a flight we both knew her family didn’t want her to take.
Before we arrived at Terminal 5, I gestured toward the large bag and said, “Bring as many things you need to feel like you’re home.”
She was quiet, but then I saw a small smile form on her face. She said, “Then all I need to bring is you.”
Although I didn’t want to, although I was sad, I smiled.
The best part of a relationship is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end that’s what it’s about. It’s not about sex, it’s not about the money they give you, it’s not about how good looking they are, it’s about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn’t matter.
I had the option to work from home today. And for the most part of the morning I was doing just that. But I couldn’t be in the house any longer, especially considering it was just me by my lonesome. So I got dressed and came down to Wall Street. It’s raining and it’s cold and I regret my decision. Now all I want to do is buy comfort food and watch shows on Hulu. Sometimes I need to think things through a few seconds longer before acting.
Repeat after me: There is no love in oppression. There is no oppression in love.